Excuse me, your ascites is leaking.

Typical ICU day, LOL with a nasty PEG tube is septic from the site. Serious ascites going on. Stinks to high heaven. GI doc comes in and removes old nasty PEG. No big deal right?

Wrong.

From the second he walked out of the unit (because, let's face it, weird shit never happens with doc standing at the bedside) she starts spewing from the site. A nice greenish smelly fluid. No big deal. We'll just put a nice big dressing on it. Right?

Wrong.

The dressing is soaked in seconds. Remove dressings. Hold wads of towels over site until we figure out what the heck to do. Our ICU brains get to work on a ghetto way to fix this. Hmm, a colostomy bag? Sounds like it would work right?

Wrong. 

We put the bag over the site and quickly turn and toss the patient to change her green soaked bedding. Then I hear something. Drip. Drip. Drip.

 The wafer has pulled away from the skin and that lovely greenish liquid is flowing over the edge of the bed. Onto my shoes. 

Great day in the ICU.